Weekend Awakening

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This weekend was one of those weekends that gave me the opportunity to stop and take a look at where my life is heading. Lately I have been keeping busy and going and going, and i’m starting to see that I may have been keeping busy to avoid having to make changes in my life. Recently there have been events in my life that have caused me a lot of pain and I have been at a stand still feeling very frail. I have been watching what I eat, what music I chose to listen to, what I watch on tv, or in a movie, who I talk to where, where I go, who I hang out with, and the list continues. It hasn’t been an easy place to live and I am feeling that this weekend may have been the beginning to a new awakening of myself.
What’s worse, pretending to be someone i am not, or not knowing who I am? I never stop and take a look at the past. I am always on the go, and I never really stop and take a look at where I came from. My up bringing defines me. It made up my character and my personality traits that I have with me today. There were a lot of challenges in my life at an early age, and my parents always taught me to work hard and that I could be anything I wanted to be. Today I am strong and I can take a lot of hits without the thought of giving up. The drive I have to be successful and to find my gift, my purpose, is driven by my curiosity and my determination.
The pain that I feel now, yes it hurts, and I want it to stop hurting, but just like when you are working out, which I love to do by the way, the only way you are able to build muscle is by tearing it open first. I believe that is whats happening to me now. I am feeling pain but I can grow, strengthen and change through the pain. Pain is an opportunity to break open and grow stronger at the broken places. Through this transformation I need to remain open to the unknown and the what could happen. I have to stop trying to control the outcome and let the outcome control what happens. The only way I am going to be free is if I remain steady on the light that is inside me which I chose to call my soul guided force or my higher power, my God. As long as I remain focused on him like a bought headed for the lighthouse, I can then find what my true power is and use it in this world.
I challenge you to two questions:
1) Who are you?
2) What are you meant to give?